Just Stop Talking

The Ringmaster has the greatest impact on the success of the circus.

-Juggling Elephants, page 30

While spending time with my 5 year old last week, I had to laugh at her "babbling." She would just talk and talk, sometimes making sense, sometimes saying things that only she could understand it's meaning or intent. At one point, I invited her to help me solve a minor problem (to build her critical thinking skills, of course). She would offer an answer and then continue talking about it, often to the point that I forgot her solution. At one point I simply said, "Just stop talking for a minute and let me think about it."

Sometimes I need to take my own advice. I am guilty of "talking too much." Silence between people is not a bad thing. It gives us time to reflect, ponder and evaluate. We certainly wouldn't want a ringmaster of a circus to babble on about an act. Introduce it, give me the facts, and then get out of the way.

In my travels I have come to really appreciate conversations with individuals for whom English is not their primary language. They use only the words needed to get their point across. There are often moments of silence while they think of the words they want to use, and that gives me time to think about what they are saying. I have learned much about true conversation from such people.

Today, why not try to choose your words more wisely. You might just find yourself a better conversationalist, and that people around you are more in tune with what you are really saying.

An Act Too Important

While perusing the news yesterday I came across an intriguing article about the Tour de France entitled, Tensions on the Tour. The article documents possible tension that exists between Lance Armstrong and Alberto Contador. They are both riders on the Astana team, and there should be a clear leader of the team. However, with both of them vying for the yellow jersey (win), their possible tension is creating a distraction for the team-according to the article.

Contador makes a very telling statement when he says, "The Tour is a tiring race and you can't waste energy on things that don't concern the race." He recognizes the larger goal, but only time will show if he and Armstrong adhere to a team mentality or pursue their individual goals.

The article started me thinking about how often there is the "official team goal" but in reality the individuals on the team have a goal that could undermine the success of the team. Research has consistently shown that managers make decisions based on ego as much as 66% of the time.

And the challenge isn't just limited to corporate or work teams. Families often have increased stress levels because one of the "team" members has an agenda that is in conflict with the family.

How do we rectify these situations? One solution is to be the "Animal Trainer." No, not by threatening the individual(s) in question, but by looking for ways to build greater trust with the individual. When a high degree of trust is present, individuals tend to be more open to talk about concerns or issues. They are more likely to look for ways to integrate the team goals into their own individual pursuits. Fail to build that trust, and you have two or more individuals who just don't know how to best work with each other-like Armstrong and Contador. And just like the Tour de France, we all have things going on that require every ounce of energy and focus we can provide them if we are to be successful.

Identifying Toxic Performers In Your Circus

I came across a list of toxic personalities compiled by Brett Blumenthal of Sheer Balance. While the list is not closely based on any personality styles inventories, it does offer several opportunities to evaluate your personal style and how it impacts the creativity, cooperation and productivity of those around you. You can also use the list to have some interesting team or group discussions about the negative influence these personalities can have on the success of your team's performance-and how to deal with them.

Granted, you need some people to keep you grounded and insure that a choice is the right one. But as you will see, too much of one of these personalities or a day filled with several of them could have you running for the door!

Get the article to see the full list, their descriptions and their toxicity, but here's a sampling:

• Manipulative Mary
• Narcissistic Nancy
• Judgmental Jims
• Dream-Killer Keiths
• Insincere Illissas
• Disrespectful Dannys
• Never Enought Nellies

Remembering The Power Of The Small Things

Twenty three years ago today, the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded 74 seconds after takeoff. It was a tragic day, marking the first time US astronauts had died in flight. It seemed especially painful due to so many school children across the country watching the launch of the first teacher in space. We as Americans had become so accustomed to seeing successful space flights that we were in total shock that something like this could happen.

After a lengthy and thorough investigation, the cause of the explosion was determined to be a faulty "o" ring in one of its solid rocket boosters. The diameter of the rings is .280 inches. That's the diameter of the average pencil eraser. It seems impossible that something so small could cause such a catastrophic event for a shuttle so large, but it reminds us of the need to never overlook or neglect the small details.

As you go through your day, reflect on your own actions. Are you neglecting to address an issue with a co worker that is impacting office productivity? Ignoring an item on your task list because it would be uncomfortable to tackle it? Failing to start improving your health because you're "too busy?" Remember the "o" ring, and get the right things done-Now.

When People Take The Lineup Into Their Own Hands

Today I was boarding a flight and someone was in my assigned seat. When I inquired about their seat assignment they replied, "Oh, I didn't want to sit in my seat up front so I just took a different one. You can sit somewhere else." Having been through this before, I politely told them I wanted to take my assigned seat so it didn't cause problems when other people boarded the plane. They gave me a disgusted look but moved to a seat close by.

By the time the plane was ready for takeoff, this person had caused 4 other people to have to move to a different seat. It was literally a chain reaction with several people "miffed" at having to sit somewhere else. All because someone wanted to change their place in the "lineup" without thinking about it's impact on others.

The next time you plan on making a change in your lineup, think about how the change will affect those around you. If it's for the better, perfect. If not, and you want to maintain a positive relationship with the other performers, you might want to think again... or come up with a solution that works for them too.