Tricking and Rewarding Yourself

Recently, I was emailing back and forth with my good friend who lived across the street when I was a kid. He had just finished reading Juggling Elephants and we were discussing some of the concepts and how they applied to our lives. He currently juggles a career as a physician and a "relationship ring" that includes his spouse and three young children. He shared with me some great insights and ideas around motivation and sticking to a "healthy self ring routine" – even when it is not easy. With his permission, here are some of his thoughts that I found very helpful:

"I exercise 3 - 4 times per week in the winter, 5 - 7 times per week in the summer, mostly cycling (more spinning in winter). I know that I MUST exercise REGULARLY in order to have the energy and endurance for the rest of my life's activities. Ironically, although I LOVE to ride, and I do it often, I almost NEVER FEEL LIKE RIDING. I consistently work 9 -12 hour days (or nights). So, when I get home, I am "beat". I FEEL PHYSICALLY TIRED, although intellectually, I know that I am more MENTALLY EXHAUSTED than physically tired. Either way, I honestly don’t feel like jumping on the bike to exercise. But, I know that exercising REGULARLY means YOU HAVE TO DO IT EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT, just like having a job means going to work even when you don't feel like it.

By far, the path of least resistance is to grab a snack and hit the sofa. My mind and body are telling me that I am too spent to exercise. But deep down, I know from experience, that it probably isn’t true. So, I have to "trick" myself into getting on the bike instead of getting on the couch (or plopping down in front of the computer). I tell myself that I'll just ride to the mouth of the canyon, a short 6 minutes from my house. I tell myself that if I still feel "lousy" when I get there, I'll allow myself to turn around and go home to the couch, guilt-free. This gets me over that important first hurdle: changing into my cycling clothes, mixing a bottle of Gatorade and getting out on the bike, turning the cranks in fresh air.

I am sincere in my promise to turn around if I still feel poorly at the mouth of the canyon, but I have done so less than a half dozen times in more than 10 years (the rare occasions when the "test" proved that I REALLY WAS too exhausted, or too ill to ride). The overwhelming majority of times, I feel a LITTLE BIT better by the time I get to the mouth of the canyon. So, I tell myself, "just up to the Cutler Trail head (about 1/3 of the way up the canyon), and if I'm not really into it by then, I'll allow myself to turn back". Again, I've turned back at the trail head a half dozen or so times. But nearly always, I feel QUITE A BIT better (or at least no worse, ha ha) by the time I get there. So if needed, I make myself another "deal" and so on. More often, by the time I hit the trail head, I have forgotten all about feeling poorly and my mind has moved on to better things. I'm able to clear my mind and do some of my best thinking on the bike. Before I know it, I'm summiting the canyon, mentally AND physically refreshed. With the day's stress left behind and my thoughts freshly focused, I can continue the ride or return home energized to DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE rather than vegetate the rest of the evening.

It is funny. I've "tricked" myself literally 1,000's of times this way over the years, but it has never lost its effectiveness. By breaking it down into manageable bites, I am able to get through a great workout that I would have otherwise skipped. While some would say "I don't have time to exercise", I know that I simply can't afford the time I'd waste if I weren't refocusing and re energizing through exercise.

Another "trick" that I use to motivate my exercise is buying myself "treats" for cycling. It is the one place (OK, one of a FEW PLACES) in my life that I truly indulge myself. Nice bikes, nice bike shoes (just got some REALLY sweet ones last week), nice bike clothes, etc. I am cheap enough that it somehow motivates me to "get my money's worth" by using them often. Plus, and perhaps more importantly, it makes me FEEL GOOD when I'm on the bike. I'm comfortable no matter what the weather, and I look like the pros that are also often grinding up the canyon (not like the "poser" that I really am, ha ha).

I also draw motivation from others when possible. Until recently, Lance Armstrong's coach, Chris Carmichael, lived near the top of the canyon. His CTS athletes, the Olympic Training Center athletes, U.S.A. Cycling Federation athletes and other serious riders are constantly in the canyon. On one memorable ride several years ago, despite a sunny start, I found myself grinding up the canyon in a driving rain, with lightning crashing down on the peaks above me. It was my annual "birthday ride", a long, hard, mathematically-defined ride done as close as possible to my birthday each year. Given the weather, I was the ONLY one still out. But, I was a little over half way through the ride and was hell bent on "getting the job done" regardless, if not in spite of, the adversity. I felt someone behind me in an SUV following close, but not passing. They followed for a mile or so, then slowly passed and gave me the thumbs up. It was Chris, in one of his CTS support vehicles. I FELT like a pro! The rest of the ride seemed effortless. It is stuff like that, that helps us keep going! We hang onto it, internalize it, and use it the next time we need a little inspiration to get out there and keep those cranks turning."

What's On Your Mind?

Earl Nightingale said, "We become what we think about." Wow! That could be scary. Actually, it is scary. We hear a lot about premeditation and the focus of the criminal mind. But, what about the flip side. Premeditation around the positive. What is something positive you can keep your focus on? How about being a role model or making the difference in the life of a child. Achieving greatness in one of your rings-relationships, self and/or work. Have you ever thought about being courageous and fearless?

Sometimes we are so busy being busy that we don't think deep thoughts. We go day to day just jumping from task to task without stopping to ponder. Today, take just 15-30 minutes and consider the question, "What do I want to become?" Pick something about which you are passionate. Write it down on a piece of paper and then...think about it. Ponder it. Focus on it. It is easy to be consumed with the negative or unhealthy. The daily news helps us to do this. Try focusing on something positive and see what kind of results you get.

Time for Discovery

I was recently in a Middle School Orientation for one of my daughters who will be heading into 7th grade. The principal spoke and made the statement, "Middle School is about discovery. It is a time to help your children decide what they want to be when they grow up." She then went on to explain the classes that the students would be taking that would expose them to a variety of topics that would help them as they decide their future.

As I thought about my daughter and the classes that she would be taking, I couldn't help but wonder what she would discover over the next 10+ years and what she would become when she grows up. (I often wonder what I will be when I grow up-with the emphasis on "when I grow up.") My mind started formulating what her plan should be and what she was good at and where her testing scores were and how important being in the right classes was going to be-then I had a brain aneurysm-or maybe it was a epiphany.

Is there a time in our lives that we should stop discovering, be grown up and fall into a routine of what we should be? Are the goals/decisions that we make in Middle School, High School, and College the ultimate blue print or path for the rest of our lives? Our lives change, our situations change and our dreams evolve. Sure, placement tests and classes in school can help us with discovery and opportunities, but maybe there should be a class on "Life Long Discovery." Shouldn't we discover new things when we are 30, 50, 90?

It is time to discover something new... where is that brochure on scuba diving?

Being The Best Ringmaster

I came across this quote during my "self ring time" the other day. It's from Helen Keller:
The best-educated human being is the one who understands most about the life in which he is placed.

I put a Juggling Elephants spin on it so that it reads, "The best-educated Ringmaster is the one who understands most about the circus in which he is placed." So often after someone reads Juggling Elephants or participates in one of our training programs they comment that "This was so much more than what I expected. I thought the program was just about time management or work-life balance, but I found myself looking deeper into all aspects of my work and life."

We believe that long term professional and personal improvement can only come when people take a comprehensive evaluation of all areas of their life-and then determine strategies to improve. That' not a one-time process. To best understand our situations, we must take regular, planned examinations of ourselves. The question to ask yourself today might be, "How much do I understand about my current life situation?" And if the answers aren't quickly forthcoming, it's time to do some digging.

Get Thee a Saddle

I recently came across this Yiddish Proverb:

If one man calleth thee a donkey, pay him no mind. If two men calleth thee a donkey, get thee a saddle.

I love it! I learned this same lesson from a boss that I admire. He is a great believer in getting feedback from friends, colleagues and customers. He would always tell me to "look for patterns" in feedback. If he started to see a pattern, he would make a change in our product. But, if the feedback was only mentioned by one person, he would ignore it, even if he agreed with the thought.

Feedback and continuous improvement are important concepts that we should incorporate in our businesses and personal lives. It is not an easy thing to do and can be expensive and/or painful. But the benefits of correctly looking for positive ways to be better or improve will pay off in the long run.