What Is Your Intent?

I think we should invent an Intent-O-Meter. We would make a fortune. It would be a device that you could attach to your phone so that when you are talking with someone you would immediately understand the caller's intention and objectives. It would work with email too by scanning an incoming message and providing you with a score of how sincere and honest the sender's intent is (this would sure save you from sending your bank account numbers to a "widowed foreign diplomat who is willing to split $1,509,244 with you for your kind help"). The Intent-O-Meter would also work in meetings and face to face interactions with other people - especially helpful when working with salespeople!

The truth of the matter is that all people have a built in Intent-O-Meter that they use to gauge other people's aim. That is an important concept to understand. When you approach someone they immediately are monitoring you to determine if you have their best interest in mind. They want to understand what your motives are and whether you are trying to help them or trick them.

Before you email, call or meet with someone - consider what your intentions are. Are they good? Are they honest? Do you really care about the other person? Are you wanting to create a win-win solution or are you thinking win-lose? Unless you are really good with deception, most people can see through to your intent. So, make sure that you intent is good. Sincerity and honest intent are key attitudes in working with others. Are you doing something "to someone" or "with someone"? It is all about intent.

Three Ways To Disengage Your Performers

According to research done by Christopher Sibona, a graduate student at the University of Colorado Denver, the number 1, 2 and 3 reasons people get "unfriended" on Facebook are:

• Frequent, unimportant posts
• Posts about polarizing topics like politics
• Inappropriate posts, such as racist or suggestive comments

Couldn't the same be said for how we sometimes cause the performers in our circus to disengage from our circus? Giving too much information too often, introducing topics for discussion that have no purpose in moving work forward, or simply bringing up a conversation on something that violates someone's value system occur way too often in the workplace.

I have a friend who uses the answers to 3 questions to filter his words. He is the most respected man I know, and yes, he is a leader who has many performers who are willing to give their best effort to accomplish the objectives set before them. The questions are:

• Is it true?
• Is it necessary?
• Is it kind?

You may not choose the same 3 questions, but getting some guidelines in place might help prevent those moments when you push away those you need close to you-at work and in life.

Showing Long Term Gratitude

When at a meeting recently I had someone thank me for something I had done for them several years ago. They described the details as if it had just happened yesterday! I was literally amazed that they had carried those thoughts with them through the years.

The experience made me wonder how different my home and work environment would be if I looked at each of the "performers" in my circus with more of an "attitude of gratitude." Even if I didn't verbally recall to them what they had done for me (or my business), just reviewing it in my mind would improve the quality of the interaction with them.

One key need we all have is to be appreciated. To know that what we have done has value-and that value should not stop once our short term memory has forgotten what they did. Who is a performer in your circus that would benefit from knowing that something they did LONG ago is still remembered-and valued-by you?

See If You Saw This One Coming...

Okay. You are on a diet and you are at a restaurant for dinner (Yes, that already seems like a paradox, I know). When getting recommendations on what you should eat for dinner, whose food choice are you more likely to accept-one from an obese server or a thin server?

According to ScienceDirect, a study of the University of Columbia conducted such a study. The results? 59% accepted the recommendation from the obese server while only 36% accepted the food choice of the thin server. Why? According to Brent McFerran, one of the researchers, the dieter could more readily identify with the obese server.

I wanted to be surprised by their findings, but it's the same thing we find so often when working with the performers in our circus. We tend to more quickly trust people who we sense have the same values, beliefs and circumstances we are facing. It doesn't mean we should wear our values, beliefs and struggles on our sleeves, but the findings do reinforce that we need to find common ground with others-especially if we want them to accept an idea, feedback or other information from us.

The Focus Of The Performers In Your Circus

Where is the focus of the performers in your circus right now? For example, we are seeing report after report stating that the marketplace is full of disgruntled workers (some reports say as high as 50% of workers are not happy with their current employment). Employees that are saying to themselves, "When the economy turns around, I'm out of here! I'm going to get a better job and quit." With unemployment numbers remaining high and recovery looking like it is going to take awhile, maybe this is not such an immediate concern. Or is it? What is an unhappy employee's energy level like day in and day out while they are waiting for that new job? What is the commitment level? How is the quality of work?

Having "unhappy performers" in your circus is an immediate problem. How about the non-work related performers in your circus? Are there others that are saying, "When something better comes along, I am out of here!"Here is a quick and helpful exercise that might help you. Grab a blank sheet of paper and create a "Performers Review." Make three columns on the paper. In the first column list all of the relationships that are important to you-both at work and in your personal life. In the second column, rate the level of focus and commitment to your relationship with a scale of high, medium and low. In the third column consider what you can do to either recommit or address a "low" rating or, reinforce and reward a "high" rating of someone that is really making a difference in your relationship with them.

Once you have completed your review, take the actions that you have listed in the third column and incorporate them into your daily "line up." Remember, Every member is important and has to be fully engaged on the rights acts to make the team successful. – Juggling Elephants, page 76.