Family Planning

A big "act" in your relationship ring is probably your family or a "significant other". How do you keep track of and work effectively with the relationship performers in your circus? Here are a couple of quick suggestions:

• Have a family/relationship calendar. My mom taught me this one. Growing up we had a big calendar that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Whenever we had an activity or event that we were involved in as kids, we would be instructed to "put it on the calendar." If it wasn't on the calendar, it didn't happen! Now, with technology, my family has an online calendar that we all have access to. This calendar has saved me so many times and has probably helped my relationships with my family as well. It helps me remember family events and activities before I make commitments that might conflict-whether it is a dance recital, birthday or the ever important anniversary. It helps me to include in my lineup the activities that my family is involved in. I am also more productive because I can immediately respond to requests that involve "after hours" or "travel plans" because I can pull up our calendar, look for conflicts and give an immediate, yes or no.


• Sit down as a family at the beginning of the week and have a planning session. For one thing, this is a great time to review the calendar. What activities are going on in the next few weeks? Who needs a ride somewhere and when? Can we schedule time to actually sit down and eat a meal together? What about a vacation when everyone is free? With teenagers, this is even more vital. A weekly planning meeting doesn't take a long time and acts as "an ounce of prevention" for the week.

Family/relationship planning will not only help you get a standing ovation in your "relationship ring" but it will also help you in your "work ring". When you have a very busy schedule at work, the last thing you need to worry about or be distracted with is the great unknown of what is going on in the lives of those you care about. Relationship planning will allow you to stay focused and know when you can stay a little later at work and/or when you need to make sure to be out the door to make it home.

Martin Luther Must Have Read Juggling Elephants

Now that I have your attention-yes, I realize Martin Luther lived many centuries ago. However, even then he knew the importance of balancing rewards and feedback. While his focus in the following quote was on child rearing (and remember, this is his perspective), the same principle applies-we must not always be telling people what they are doing wrong... we must just as passionately encourage them when they do something right.

Spare the rod and spoil the child-that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well.

-Martin Luther

Spread Too Thin

We came across this thought just the other day:

"How thin can you spread yourself before you are no longer there?"

-Author Unknown

In reality, when you spread yourself too thin, you ARE no longer there. You are typically not available to others at a moment's notice. It is difficult to add random acts of kindness or charity to your routine. Events that are important but not urgent don't get added to your lineup. Things start to fall through the cracks.

Once again, you can't juggle elephants. Make a conscious effort to focus on what matters most. Leave some time for yourself, for those that are important to you and for those events that bring fulfillment to your life.

New Act For The Family Lineup

A study by coolsavings.com found that 60% of children in families are "couponing." Faced with shrinking family budgets and the need to cut back, 78% of families surveyed indicated that they see saving and budgeting as an important life lesson.

Cutting back is rarely pleasant-and having to tell your children "no" is never easy. A more constructive approach may be to involve them in the process of saving money. As a parent we know the value of involving them in the solution versus just telling them about the plan.

I tried this approach with my 5 year old a few days ago. We had been talking about the need to save our money and make good choices. We then looked through the coupon section of the newspaper and found some of the items she liked and clipped those coupons. Later that week we went to the store and compared prices with the store brands. Good time in the relationship ring.

Read the full article here.

Litmus Test For Your Lineup

While boarding a plane last week I overheard two men talking about their "preferred status" with an airline. One guy said something like, "I really lost out last year. I was at 'platinum' level but my wife was expecting and I had to ground myself at the office for 3 weeks prior to the birth. Then, the baby came late and I had to stay grounded for another 3 weeks. Man, I missed out on so many miles and now am only a 'gold.'

I wonder if his comments would have been the same if his wife was standing with him? Somehow I doubt it. I kept waiting for him to say, "But the time with my wife and new baby was worth more than any miles I would have gained."

The incident got me to thinking... if you verbalized your reasoning for your lineup today with those audience members most important to you, would they be pleased? Or feel insignificant? If they wouldn't be cheering you on-do you need to change some of the acts in your lineup? Remember, you always gain something at the loss of something else-what's most important to you?