Workaholics and Work Life Balance

In his HBR Network Blog, Kevin Evers makes the case that workaholics shouldn't try to achieve work life balance. He writes, "There is always more work to do, and they [workaholics] are willing to do it." His comments echo what we teach in Juggling Elephants training programs about the fact that there will always be elephants-things that seem physically, mentally, emotionally, or even financially heavy and difficult to manage. The elephants don't stop coming until we die.

His solution is that workaholics should set boundaries for themselves, limiting the time they spend on a task (or at work) to allow for other activities. It's a perfect complement to the "3 rings" concept. We teach that you need to allow time in your daily or at least weekly "circus" for quality acts in all 3 rings-work, relationships, and self. At any one point your circus (life) may appear to be unbalanced, with maximum intensity in one ring. Over the course of a week or certainly month, however, you should be able to look back on moments where you have worked just as hard on your relationships or taking care of yourself as you have on the tasks at work.

You have to plan for all 3 areas instead of simply focusing on getting all your work done and then hoping that there is time for family or friends or personal renewal. As Evers writes, "There is always more work to do."

Which Elephant Are You Willing To Drop?

If you're overwhelmed because you're facing too much to do, ask yourself this simple question: "Which elephant are you willing to drop?" Some of the elephants you are juggling are elephants because of perfectionist tendencies, negative peer pressure from others, or even a lack of clarity about your purpose. And the only thing that might be hurt if the elephant IS dropped might be your pride or your facade that you can get it all done.

This doesn't mean you don't have legitimate stress, overloaded schedules, and the need to better manage your time. But if the elephant has been inflated by your denial of reality or the facts, it might be best to just let it drop... and not pick up one like it next time.

When Will The Intensity Change?

If you're currently juggling elephants and say that your circus is out of control, draw the 3 rings, label them "work," "self," and "relationships" and reflect on the level of intensity in each ring. Then ask yourself this question: When will the level of intensity in this ring (or these rings) change? If you don't have a clear answer, then some major work or life adjustments are probably needed.

If you are like most people, however, you may just be overwhelmed in the moment and need to take a more objective view of your circus. Once you see where things will be less intense in one ring, start brainstorming ways you can use those available resources to increase the quality of your performance in another ring. Remember, the circus, at any given moment, looks unbalanced. Over a period of time, however, balance across all 3 rings does happen. And you can make it happen too-you're the ringmaster of your circus!

Work Life Balance Is Still A Priority

With a slow economy and job opportunities limited for many people, we sometimes hear that work/life balance is not a priority for many employees. As an employer, don't get too comfortable with that perspective.

In the 2012 Keep Good Going Report from New York Life shows polling of American workers about their attitudes toward work and families. Findings include:

• 71 percent would be happier with more pay, but only a small percentage would be willing to trade between their financial situation and their families
• For a 50 percent pay raise, only 11 percent of those polled would exchange reduced time with their children (Ironically, 54 percent WOULD exchange working at night)

Time with families is still among the highest priorities of most workers. How does your workplace recognize and support that priority? If you want to retain and grow your best talent, it might we worth looking at-instead of getting too comfortable with the perspective of "They aren't going anywhere."

How Would You Like Your Elephants?

In recent weeks there has been much debate about an article entitled, "Why Women Still Can't Have It All." One interesting blog post at the WSJ looks at the article a little differently.

Basically, they suggest that the choice is having it all or having enough, which in Juggling Elephants terms means, do you want the elephants super-sized or regular size? Regardless of ambition, goals or purpose, everyone has elephants-those tasks, issues, goals or even dreams that weigh on you physically, mentally, emotionally or physically. And they will keep coming throughout your life in both work and your personal endeavors.

We do have to decide how big of an elephant we are willing to try and juggle-and what the consequences are of juggling one elephant over another.