Boundaries

This past weekend I attended a celebration event for a friend who is 57, has multiple sclerosis and just completed her degree in counseling. What an achievement!!! In talking with her she talked about all the things she had to limit during the journey. Housecleaning, volunteer work, participation in social events (so she could maintain her limited energy level for study) and working in her flower garden. With her accomplishment she can now return to more of those things she has missed in the past 4 years.

At that same event I reconnected with a couple I had not seen in years. As they told me about their six children, we discussed all the demands placed on a family with so many children. When the subject of sports came up, the wife said, “We told the children that they would not be able to participate in organized sports until they could do so in a public school setting (i.e. middle school).” She went on to say that they encouraged them to play in the yard and get involved with pick up games in the neighborhood, but that they knew it would be a nightmare to have all six involved in almost daily practices and then a weekend full of sporting events with one parent going one way and another parent taking children to another event.

Each of these individuals knew that they needed to set boundaries to accomplish what was most important to them-and not have the juggling elephants routine as an individual or a family. What about you? Are you wanting to undertake some new venture but not sure how you can with ALL you have currently going on? Maybe you are trying to recover some relationship time with a child, spouse or friend. In either case, maybe you need to set some boundaries. Remember… there are no shortage of acts for the circus. Only you can limit what goes into your lineup.

Noblesse Oblige

OK, I have heard the term "noblesse oblige" in the movie Mary Poppins but am embarrassed to admit that until recently I have not known what it meant. Noblesse Oblige means "noble obligation." In discovering the definition of nobles oblige, I was surprised at the thoughts that those two words together stirred in my mind and heart.

What is my noble obligation? If you just think about an obligation, your mind goes to simple things like appointments, paying taxes, stopping at stop signs and so forth. But you add the word "noble" and your thoughts are raised higher. What is my noble obligation to leave a legacy in life? What is my noble obligation as a husband and father? What is my noble obligation in my work? In relationships, to friends, to God, in doing right? These are deep questions that require deep thought. Have you defined your noble obligation? In Juggling Elephants, we call it your purpose. Others call it your mission statement, values, roles, goals, etc.

Commit to yourself to block out the "thick of thin things" and do some deep thinking about what your noblesse oblige is. Write it down. Make it a living document that you edit, adjust, add to and refine. Now if I could just figure out what "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" means, I will be good.

Finally! A Brave Ringmaster

We got this automated response to an e mail sent out last week:

Thank you for your message. Due to some upcoming deadlines and my current workload, I will only be checking E-mail and phone messages a couple times each day. If you need immediate assistance, please call ______________ at xxx-xxx-xxxx. They will know how to reach me.

Isn't that the most beautiful e mail you have ever read? Okay... I know we are bit over the top, but it is encouraging to see. It educates others as to when they can expect a response to their inquiry. It helps any people who are communicating with this person by e mail to plan their own lineup instead of waiting on an immediate response. It also shows someone taking control of their circus-and we ALWAYS get excited when we see that happening.

What could you do today to take more control of your circus-and get more of your important tasks accomplished?

Be Thorough

One of the consequences of attempting to "juggle elephants" is that we end up doing some of our tasks half way or that we deliver a product or service that is "half baked." More than ever, poor performance is a result of having too much to do and not enough time and focus to deliver.

Lord Chesterfield said, "Whatever you do, do it to the purpose; do it thoroughly, not superficially. Go to the bottom of things. Any thing half done, or half known, is in my mind, neither done nor known at all. Nay, worse, for it often misleads."

Take that little extra time to be thorough. Remove other "acts" from your "circus" to make sure you are delivering a quality performance.

Spread Too Thin

We came across this thought just the other day:

"How thin can you spread yourself before you are no longer there?"

-Author Unknown

In reality, when you spread yourself too thin, you ARE no longer there. You are typically not available to others at a moment's notice. It is difficult to add random acts of kindness or charity to your routine. Events that are important but not urgent don't get added to your lineup. Things start to fall through the cracks.

Once again, you can't juggle elephants. Make a conscious effort to focus on what matters most. Leave some time for yourself, for those that are important to you and for those events that bring fulfillment to your life.