Boundaries

This past weekend I attended a celebration event for a friend who is 57, has multiple sclerosis and just completed her degree in counseling. What an achievement!!! In talking with her she talked about all the things she had to limit during the journey. Housecleaning, volunteer work, participation in social events (so she could maintain her limited energy level for study) and working in her flower garden. With her accomplishment she can now return to more of those things she has missed in the past 4 years.

At that same event I reconnected with a couple I had not seen in years. As they told me about their six children, we discussed all the demands placed on a family with so many children. When the subject of sports came up, the wife said, “We told the children that they would not be able to participate in organized sports until they could do so in a public school setting (i.e. middle school).” She went on to say that they encouraged them to play in the yard and get involved with pick up games in the neighborhood, but that they knew it would be a nightmare to have all six involved in almost daily practices and then a weekend full of sporting events with one parent going one way and another parent taking children to another event.

Each of these individuals knew that they needed to set boundaries to accomplish what was most important to them-and not have the juggling elephants routine as an individual or a family. What about you? Are you wanting to undertake some new venture but not sure how you can with ALL you have currently going on? Maybe you are trying to recover some relationship time with a child, spouse or friend. In either case, maybe you need to set some boundaries. Remember… there are no shortage of acts for the circus. Only you can limit what goes into your lineup.

Forcing Prioritization

A popular activity with youth and adult leadership programs over the years is to give each participant some amount of "money" and they are to "buy" the virtues or qualities they deem most important for themselves. Then the participants are asked to develop action plans on how they can emulate these virtues or qualities in their leadership roles-or develop them more thoroughly.

What if we took a twist on that activity and focused on priorities? Start by listing all your priorities for today. No ranking... just list them. You now have $100 to spend on accomplishing these priorities. Which ones would get the most "money?" Which ones would get the least?

Once you have this prioritized list in hand, think about your day. Are you setting up your schedule and activities to actually accomplish these most important priorities, or are you wasting much of your "money" (time and energy) on items you said weren't worth as much? The ROI (return on investment) for this activity might be huge.

Preventative Maintenance In Your Lineup

While rushing through the airport last week, a wheel on my roller board suitcase broke. I immediately looked like someone dragging a bag of rocks. I finally resorted to picking up the bag, which was not a pleasant experience either. In the midst of my frustration I heard a voice (inside my head) saying, "Weren't you thinking the other day about the need to do some maintenance on your suitcase-lube the wheels, repair some zippers, etc.?" But so many more important things to do-or so I thought. Now the repair and frustration costs me much more than doing some "preventative maintenance."

As you reflect on your planning for the next few days, what are some areas where you need to perform some preventative maintenance. Is there a relationship you need to nurture, some small task that you need to do at work before it mushrooms into a bigger task? What about that checkup you have been meaning to get to? Remember-if you are proactive you get to choose when it goes into your lineup. If you let it go-you are at the mercy of when the act is ready to scream (literally) into your lineup-possibly wrecking your day, week or even longer length of time.

The Circus Must Have An Act-Now!

The next time you are struggling with which "act" to bring into your lineup, remember the words of Theodore Roosevelt:

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

Wisdom From A Child

It has been an interesting 2 months around our home. Our family dog had puppies in early February and due to an unfortunate illness, she died when the puppies were just days old. Consequently, our family has been bottle feeding and raising them without a mother. They are healthy, fun and bring so much joy to my children.

My older daughter made an insightful comment just last week. She said, "It's kind of frustrating with the puppies. When they are young but can't do much, you have to spend so much time on them. Then, when they are older and are so much fun, you are so far behind on everything else that you can't spend all the time with them you want to." WOW! What a profound statement about the need for us all to be the ringmasters of our circus.

If we don't take care of our high priority items now, we severely limit our ability to get the most important things done later because we are always playing "catch up." What are you putting off today that may limit your choices of how to use your time and energy tomorrow?