Boundaries

This past weekend I attended a celebration event for a friend who is 57, has multiple sclerosis and just completed her degree in counseling. What an achievement!!! In talking with her she talked about all the things she had to limit during the journey. Housecleaning, volunteer work, participation in social events (so she could maintain her limited energy level for study) and working in her flower garden. With her accomplishment she can now return to more of those things she has missed in the past 4 years.

At that same event I reconnected with a couple I had not seen in years. As they told me about their six children, we discussed all the demands placed on a family with so many children. When the subject of sports came up, the wife said, “We told the children that they would not be able to participate in organized sports until they could do so in a public school setting (i.e. middle school).” She went on to say that they encouraged them to play in the yard and get involved with pick up games in the neighborhood, but that they knew it would be a nightmare to have all six involved in almost daily practices and then a weekend full of sporting events with one parent going one way and another parent taking children to another event.

Each of these individuals knew that they needed to set boundaries to accomplish what was most important to them-and not have the juggling elephants routine as an individual or a family. What about you? Are you wanting to undertake some new venture but not sure how you can with ALL you have currently going on? Maybe you are trying to recover some relationship time with a child, spouse or friend. In either case, maybe you need to set some boundaries. Remember… there are no shortage of acts for the circus. Only you can limit what goes into your lineup.

Just 15 Minutes and the Right Stuff

When was the last time you sat down and formally planned your day? Hopefully it was today. Taking the time at the beginning or end of your day to formally write down a plan of what you are going to do and when you are going to do it, is a key element in accomplishing what is most important to you.

It is so easy to overlook planning and just jump into the day being reactive and putting out fires. When that occurs, at the end of the day, you might find that you have got a lot of "stuff" done but was it the "right stuff?"

The Value of An Escort Service

Got your attention with that one, huh? While talking with a client the other day they commented about their long hours at work and how they weren't taking care of their "self ring." But then they said things had recently changed and they were enjoying being at home more and actually eating lunch. What made the difference to her? Being an escort. Let me explain.

She works in a secure building requiring smart cards and a security clearance. She recently added two interns to her staff and they don't yet have their security clearance. So... she has to walk with them to the cafeteria for lunch and then walk them out at the end of their day. This forces her to at least GO to lunch and then end her day at a more reasonable hour. She said she forgot the benefits of lunch and getting home earlier until the interns came along.

That got me to thinking. What could be the triggers we put in place to help remind us of the importance of taking an "intermission" or not overexerting ourself in relation to work hours? For me it could be recording my six year old's voice saying, "Daddy, when are you coming home?" on my phone and then making that the alarm tone when I set it. It could be moving a picture of my family to a more prominent place on my desk before taking on that "one last task" at work to remind me to not work late-especially when I promised my family I wouldn't. Maybe engage the help of a co worker, who could come by your desk as they leave and tell you something fun they plan to do that evening.

What are some things you can think of that would help bring things back into focus for you so that you don't find yourself in the Juggling Elephants routine again?

Positive Attitude When Eating an Elephant

I have been doing some focused reading lately about positive thinking and positive attitude. This might be due to the fact that recently it seems I have come in contact with so much negativity. I go to lunch with a friend looking for encouragement and get doom and gloom. The news continues to spread discouraging reports and the never ending broadcasts of "the sky is falling." Clients share their struggles with being asked to do "more with less."

I am a big fan of Napoleon Hill. I came across this quote from the Napoleon Hill Foundation and thought it tied in so well with Juggling Elephants with the emphasis on the importance of a positive attitude: Develop the habit of eliminating negative thoughts the moment they appear. Start small at first. When you first hear that inner voice that says, 'I can't do this,' put the thought out of your mind immediately. Instead, concentrate on the task itself. Break it down into manageable parts and complete them one at a time. When the job is finished, tell your doubting self: 'You were wrong. I could do it, and I did!'

Maybe we should add to the phrase, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.", the words, "and with a positive attitude." You are going to do the task or tasks anyway. You might as well be positive about it and enjoy the moment...not to mention that those around you will appreciate a little silver lining.

Cut Out The Dreaming-Part 2

Last week I learned that Facebook recently hit another record of participants-500 million! They interviewed several people and asked them why they liked FB and the answers given were the typical ones-stay connected with friends, reconnect with old friends, etc. But one answer shook me. Someone responded, "If there were no FB, I would die." Granted, it was an emotionally charged statement that was probably not meant with the impact it had, but it still indicated (to me anyway) a less than healthy attitude toward this type of social media.

In the last post I mentioned my struggle with a writer's advice that you should cut out things you are not good at or which you can not excel. On the flip side, should you be so connected to something like FB that it consumes you and becomes a major source of your happiness and in an extreme case, your very existence.

Granted, I don't know the person making the comment. But I think she highlights the need for all of us to examine how we spend our time and what is a priority for us. FB is definitely an example of an act that can literally take over your circus... if you let it.